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Friday, July 2, 2010

"Parent blaming" and it's just rewards

If you feel that your childhood wasn't up to your standards its probably time you got over it.
Dwelling on this is pathetic and pointless and, for the rest of us innocent bystanders, it's very annoying.

I grow weary of all this whining and complaining at all this anger and victim mentality and your inability see that your current attitude is your biggest problem.
I'm also sick of blaming your bad behavior on your parents.
The thing standing between you and success right now is you, not your parents, not your history, not your education, just you. To harbour the fact that they have sabotaged your life and are somehow responsible for your current stupid behaviors and less than desirable outcomes reeks of denial, immaturity and delusion.

We, all of course, do understand that your childhood and parts of it didn't measure up to your high standards.
Is it even remotely possible that you could wrap your head around the fact that much of life doesn't meet with anyone's high standards? Perhaps your parents lives were affected by the same problems that you seem to be complaining of except they buried their problems in work and an effort to try and make a decent home, put food on the table, and even provide the odd holiday while you judged them.
Now you may have a very good reason to be pissed off at your parents.
I'm just saying let it go anyway and move on.
You can't be the judge of what they deserve and don't deserve.

If what you want is to destroy your own potential and your own enthusiasm ,your own optimism and your hope then become a chronic parent blamer. Hang onto that hurt no matter what. No matter how much you think your parents deserve your anger, vitriol and resentment.
I’m telling you it serves no positive purpose it will hurt you more than them stop being a big, immature, stupid baby and you and only you, are responsible for your current reality – no matter what your parents have or haven’t done to you, or for you.
Even though you may have a very good reason to be eternally pissed at your folks, I’m saying let it go anyway.

The other thing you could do is get on with your life and be careful not to waste your time on parent blaming it will destroy you from the inside out. It's an ugly fact that some people will die angry, bitter,resentful and tortured because they never found a way to let go of the self perpetuated - read that clearly, self perpetuated - misery.
If you're still hanging onto emotional crap from years ago it's you that's the problem.

When you're 20,30,40,50 and you're still thinking of talking and behaving like a teenager it is not the parents but -you- repeat -you- need a really big reality check.
The one thing you can change about the past is how you let it affect you now.
The problem as that parenting is a flawed process. You learned your skill or lack there of from your parents. Most of us add and subtract to the information we have as the situation presents.
Sometimes we do a real good job and sometimes not, this is not a perfect world!
This parental blaming game is a slippery slope of self-pity, self-
destruction and futility that's played by far too many people to their own detriment.
It's a game you're advised to avoid.

For better or worse, parents have limited power to influence their children. That is why they should not be so fast to take all the blame — or credit — for everything that their children become.

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